- It seems to me that the culture I live in has a hard time dealing healthfully with negative emotion. We avoid it or we fix it, both in ourselves or in others. This is incredibly frustrating to me, and I know that I'm not alone. I'm sharing in hopes that this can be my small contribution to fostering awareness and understanding.
- I believe that what I have to share may resonate with a few people and they will feel encouraged by reading.
Waves of sadness churn up and break against the wall.
I was accused by this boss of making excuses. I realize now that she was right. But I'm only now realizing that there is a difference between rationalization and reframing (shifting to a true, but more positive perspective). One of them would have helped my own negative thoughts at the time, but the other just kept me in denial.
Rationalization is an unhealthy response to true guilt. It means not taking responsibility for what I did wrong. Reframing on the other hand is a way to interact with negative thoughts that are unproductive. This requires, and in fact makes it easier, taking responsibility where I need to so that I can move forward.
As teenager I became aware that the path I was walking down was not one of well-balanced, healthy emotions. Reflecting on my childhood I had very high highs and very low lows and I would say, "Maybe I'm bipolar." As an adult, I was told by one psychiatrist that I had generalized anxiety disorder, by a family doctor that I had OCD and anxiety, and by a different psychiatrist that I had something that was probably like OCD or anxiety (I don't really remember, it was quite vague). To this day my own self-diagnosis varies by the day.
I hate when other people label me.